Divorces are messy and conflict ridden. And, nobody seems to come through them without being damaged, including the children. How can your staff help?

Yes, divorce is a very difficult process often times, but a necessary one in certain cases. Frequently, each member of a couple will become angry or frightened once they have decided to get a divorce and will frequently run out and get a lawyer to represent them -- to show how poorly they have been treated by their former spouse or how "It just won't work out". It's at this point, that communication tends to break down even further. By definition, communication was not "good" between the couple, otherwise they likely would not be getting a divorce. But, include two more people in the fray and communication is inclined to break down even more, and the research literature on this topic shows that it does.

So, what can be done that stops further break downs in communication and limits the trauma to each family member so often associated with the process of divorce? A technique that has been well documented over the years, is what is called "divorce mediation". It is just what it sounds like, its a mediated divorce. Mediated, in that, one person, or a team of two people, are the "go-between(s)" for the divorcing couple. Many times, this team will be a clinician such as a psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, or a psychiatrist in some instances, and a lawyer. Regularly, a clinician from one agency will work with a lawyer in town familiar with mediation. Divorce mediation is not designed to be "therapy" for the divorcing couple, rather, it is designed to contain a process that may get out of hand and keep the communication on an even keel as the couple goes about the business of preparing and planning how the divorce will be handled. If one of the members feels that they need therapy to make it through the process, one or both of the "mediators" will typically refer them to someone they can see for individual therapy. The process, generally, involves work with a clinician who helps the divorcing couple sort through what each wants in the divorce, and once that is hammered out, the lawyer on the team sorts out the legalities of their desires in order to present the case for court.

The research literature on divorce mediation makes it clear that couples and families who make use of this process of settling their divorce have far fewer emotional scars. Each member of the couple emerges in better emotional shape, and so do the children in the case where a family is involved. Custody issues, which typically are very costly, can also be handled in this fashion, and thereby, limit the extent to which children become central figures in such cases -- the divorce is between the parents. Divorce mediation is a method of settling a divorce that first of all limits the emotional damage caused when a divorce becomes a reality, and it is less costly for each member of the divorcing couple. If you have further questions about divorce mediation, or are in need of a consultation on marital or couples therapy as a means of preserving your relationship, we encourage you to call or set up an appointment with one of our professionals.